As the beard turns…

So. I’ve been getting calls from undialable numbers about lowering my credit card interest. (Mind you, this was done after submitting for an Ad spot on facebook. Thanks facebook.)

Anyways. You press #1 to talk to someone. As soon as you begin to ask them about taking you off the call list, they hang up.

Now when they call, I press 1 and say “fuck you”.

It’s kinda nice. They still hangup and I get to say those words to someone, without consequence.

Usually I’d feel pretty horrible about something like this. I’d hate to be on the receiving end of that all day. However, I think it’s ok. Right? If they’re instructed to be anonymously harassing and rude to me, then I’m pretty sure I’m justified in giving it back.

Oh, I forget this is a beard blog. It’s coming along nicely. I think it may be longer than last time this year… but i can’t remember.

Can’t wait for warmer weather. I remember on our drive back from Austin last year, we spent the night at a Holiday Inn in New Orleans. New Orleans is like the dirtiest, hottest, touristy place you could ever go. You go there, walk around and just sort of wonder why anyone would begin to build an infrastructure like the one they have. The streets are narrow and it’s hot and humid as a ball sack ALL the time. The people are cool. Red beans and rice with hot sauce is great. But yeah… hot as balls.

Best part of the hotel was the fact that they had a pool. If you have a beard and you haven’t gone swimming yet, I highly recommend this. It’s like having a really fun piece of seaweed attached to your face.

That doesn’t sound fun in the least. But it really is.


On the flip side, things that aren’t fun are having to sell stuff like this to people. I’m fairly certain that only the worst human beings on the planet buy shit like this

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FEAR THE BEARD.

I’ve been so bad about this blog. I went to Austin last April with the idea of blogging while I was there. Then you get caught up in all the free drinks and parties… and… well. That idea goes to shit.

Let’s recap. Kept the beard since then and it’s looked really really great. Check it.

However… I’ve been feeling this beard isn’t as wonderful as it could be.

I’ve met countless dudes who’d had beards twice as glorious as mine on so many occasions. When I was 21, I thought I’d never get there. Though, along this journey I’ve held to some notions that have gotten me further. The biggest of which is considered to be a wive’s tale.

It’s the idea that if you shave more, your beard will grow more.

Literally, this is ridiculous. You’re certainly not going to grow more hair by shaving.

What I’ve found to be true…. If you let yourself go. For weeks. For months. Without touching your face with a blade. You will grow hair in spots you hadn’t before. You’ve just gotta give your face a chance.

I’ve been doing this for the last 6 years. It’s garnered me a great beard. There were times where I definitely looked like shit. But nothing in life worth having is easy.

With that said, if I expect to grow an even better beard than the one I have currently, then I will have to cut the current one off. Makes sense. So I did… here’s to new beginnings…

A change is gonna come.. from TJ Schilling on Vimeo.

Drinking in the sun. Walking through thousands. Donnie is a great dude.

Currently at SXSW. Getting a cab home in Austin is pretty much impossible. Walking away from the city I couldn’t help but think that illegal cabbing would be an awesome cottage industry. Picking up drunks and taking their money. It’d be entirely cash.

Sure enough, this is exactly how I ended up getting home. Guy named Donnie picked us up in a white mercedes. I guess the first inkling would be that this is dangerous. There were 3 of us though, I like the odds. Plus, it was only 5 dollars.

WHATTAGUY. Donnie was engaging, but calm and collected. Super nice dude. Donnie is apparently going to be hanging out with Kanye on Saturday. Good luck Donnie.

Out of all of the cool bands I watched on Wednesday and Thursday. This one took it home for sure.

Some group called Heed & Alien. Literally wasted on PBR and ecstasy. They were hilarious, exciting and really talented. If you were downtown late, and you missed this, you were retarded for doing so.

More posts on the way.

The best thing about having a cast is… pretty much nothing. The worst is the onslaught of a singular question that nearly every person will inevitably ask you: “How’d you do that?”

Trust me, it’s not very endearing after the 500th time. Who knew?

One good thing to come of it was this:

An Autograph and meeting with Peter Laviolette. And you thought only cancer kids had miracle wishes…


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Actually, I got hooked up with some tickets to see the Flyers at the Skate Zone in Vorhees, NJ. Very cool day. Some video highlights…

Coach Laviolette was a great interview. He shook my hand and talked candidly about last year’s playoff race, new players Kris Versteeg and Nick Boynton, Upshall’s hit on Oskars Bartulis, his expectations for the end of the season…. Pretty much everything was on the table with this guy. Moreover, he was honest and genuine with his answers as well as how he treated myself and everyone else in the room. I completely understand why he’s a winning coach and why our team has gotten behind him. I did not ask him about beards. I was too busy being in awe of how awesome it was to meet him. Way to go TJ.






Since my life is on hold in some areas, I’m trying to fill the void in others. Flyers games are one. PBR craft faire as another? SURE.

$8, 4 bands, PBR Crafts, and all you could drink PBR cans. If Mom and Dad hadn’t re-upped your bank account this week… this was pretty much your spot. Hell, $8 dollars all-you-can-drink is a good deal anywhere.




In addition to all of this good news, I recently purchased a Macbook Pro. You should be seeing some better quality content in the future of this blog. ALSO. I’m heading down to SXSW this year. Expect some beard blogging during and after the fest!

Lazy, lazier, laziest. My biggest vice is a couch.

So many wonderfully interesting things are happening. It’s time to write.

First off, Flyers, Flyers, Flyers.

We gave up 1st and 3rd round draft picks for Kris Versteeg. This could be a great move. He’s been a pretty lame duck for Toronto despite playing as well as he did for Chicago last year. He was a lame duck last night as well against Carolina. But let’s give him time.

Hopefully he brightens up with our depth surrounding him. Toronto’s GM Brian Burke recently let this little gem of an interview fly with the Toronto Sun:

“(Versteeg) said something that I respect and very few players have said to me over the years,” Burke said on Friday. “He said ‘I’m sorry it didn’t work out’ and I respect that.

“He didn’t have to say that. Through no fault of his own and no lack of effort, it didn’t work out. Something that happens.

Sometimes you ask a girl out and it doesn’t work out.”

Thanks Brian Burke. Glad to see you equate your experience with hockey players to how you’d ask a girl out in high school. I hope she let you down easy. Sounds like you’ve been holding that one in for a while.

The other day during all the snow and ice, I foolishly went up an A frame ladder without someone holding it steady. I’m pretty sure that’s rule number one of ladders. Sure enough, my weight shifted. I fell on my side. Adrenaline pumping, I stood up. Shaken, I walked it off. What I didn’t realize until 20 minutes later is that I had fractured my wrist. Yikes. Now I’ve got this cast.

7 weeks total, 5 weeks to go. Had to cancel recording, shows, and practice with my groups. As well as ball hockey season coming to a halt. My life is ridiculously boring now.

What isn’t ridiculously boring is that I was on the Jimmy Fallon show last Friday. My friend Mark Oates was invited to get a ‘perm’ done for a week-long segment they’d been shooting highlighting the hair style.  Some photos and a video from our excellent time!

MY BEARD ON TV!

Dude in some of these pictures is named Mike, who’s excellent band, The Gay Blades, came into my area the other night.. Them rockin out…







Beard is doing well. Its definitively burly now. When I get this damn cast off, expect me to assault you, full-on beard style rock, at one of our next shows.

Go Flyers. Go Beards.

I know… Its been a while.

Eating stuff is becoming troubling.

I remember seeing my Uncle Harry (who has a tremendous moustache) a year ago. I asked him if eating food was a bother. He said, “No, you just push it (the moustache) to the side.” He’s sort of right, but its still a pain.

I’m the kind of guy who likes to take big, mouthwatering bites of hoagies and cheesesteaks. Now, I sort of find myself “biting into the air” before I actually bite my food; if that makes any sense.

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I’m always interested in the world of convenience store marketing. Everything sold in C-stores is basically marketed towards impulse decisions.

I’ve seen some good ones. They used to have an energy drink called Cocaine. I think it’s been re-introduced to the market, but it was banned for some time. However, this is currently my favorite.

Basically, if you’re a seemingly emaciated black dude with a crack addiction… this is probably your drink. Pre-priced at 99¢. Get at it.

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Flyers are currently atop the NHL in points/wins.  Its a great feeling. All this while Chris Pronger hasn’t been playing. He’s back in tonight. Briere is going to the All-Star game as well. Only because Jarome Iginla dropped. A lot of people put stock into the notion that the league (and espn…) truly does not care for our organization. I’m not saying whether that’s true or not. Philadlephians.. on the other hand.. need to recognize that it makes no difference either way. Let them think that. We’ll continue to win games.

Go Flyers.

Go Beards.

Punk Rock Flea Market!

It was cool this year. Didn’t see anybody I knew which was sort of a bummer. Crowd was very friendly and it was a good time.  Got a nice shirt and some of those scrabble coasters.

Boucher was excellent on Saturday against the Bruins. He saw more shots than Thomas (who’s been stupid hot, lately) and came out with the win. Reviewing Boosh’s numbers kind of reminded me of how lucky we are to have a backup like that. I’m not sure that Boosh can be a consistent starter, but then again I don’t really think that of Bobrovski or Leighton either. Both the latter have been on excellent streaks, but they’re not the “answer”. The game has changed so much in the last 5 years. Nowadays, it almost seems foolish to think (for this team atleast) having a super clutch, well paid goal-tender is worth having.

Fuck it. Ride the hot hand. Its working.

The Flyers are currently 19-7-5. The Capitals by comparison are 18-10-3. Both teams are operating on high depth rosters with good to OK goalies. Even Tampa Bay, with Dan Ellis and Mike Smith sharing netminding duties, have been able to accomplish a 16-10-4 record. I know, I know. Its still early. But it’s a different game for sure.

What was even more exceptional was Boosh’s play during Jody Shelley’s ridiculous 5 minute game misconduct. Shelley got suspended for two games. Rather, Laviolette should’ve benched him for 2. It was poor hockey to say the least.

Busy, busy, busy weekend.

Saturday, my group Japanese Sunday played at Siren Records w/Sinatrah, Elder, and Ladder Devils. Great show, good crowd.

Sinatrah let me come on stage with them for some backups. They’re the best. If you don’t like them, you’re probably too stuck up or too stupid. Taryn Hipp took this photo.. Its blurry, but its my new favorite…

I’ve decided I’m going to get away. Planning some trips coming up cause I’m tired of being here. Don’t get me wrong. Philadelphia is a great city that I love. It never takes long for me to want to come back.

Moreover, A lot of people think there’s a black cloud of cynicism and dickishness that goes with living in this area… and.. well…

regrettably.. You could say they’re right.

I’ve met people who’ve come into my work, smiled at me and said, “hi, how’re you?”. I politely said, “I’m good.. you’re not from here are you?”

I’d say 5 out of 10 times the answer is, “how did you know?”

People in Philly are always trying to feel each other out. I’ve always been quick to mention the “arms-crossed” crowd at shows I’ve attended or even played. The difference in Philly, as opposed to other cities, is that its not because we’re too hip. Its because we’re not. You literally have to show us its ok to enjoy ourselves. Its fucking silly, I know.

Although, in a way it makes us a better judge of things that endure. Trends don’t do well in the city. Things that work do.

I love Philadelphia. But we all need some reminding of why sometimes.

Including myself.
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Watching the Flyers/Sharks game right now. Richards took a shot in overtime that may have been the closest goal discounted by a clock ever documented. If you all haven’t seen this, I suggest you look it up ASAP.

Shootout was forced. We lose in the shootout. Wow.. Just wow.
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Its getting… BIGGER..

Something delicious jumped up inside me today. What I’m referring to is an Arby’s Beef & Cheddar sandwich…

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I’m usually pretty good about taking the photos myself. This stock photo above will have to suffice, as I obviously already ate the sandwich.

Fast food is a crazy thing. One thing I notice is that the restaurants closest to myself are the usually the ones I want the least. Except for Wendy’s, but that’s for another post.

Arby’s is like treasure to me. However, I’m not so sure I’d feel the same if it were closer. I actually google mapped Arby’s locations in proximity to where I live..

Apparently there are NINE locations within a 14-20 mile radius of my house. NINE. You should see the map. Its like some sick, twisted Arby’s developer was building them intentionally out of my way.

Oh, but how I love the beef and cheddar.

What’s funny is this is exactly how I used to feel about Sonic.

See, up until about 3-4 years ago, the idea of a Sonic restaurant was completely bonkers to us in PA. What? You can get a chicken sandwich with bacon on toast. What does that even mean?

Now they’re everywhere and I just don’t care.. So shoot me.

I have Arby’s so rarely… its like heaven when I do.

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So this is definitely my current favorite beard on television.

Who would’ve thought a guy like Ryan Hurst would go on to have a really badass character role featuring an equally awesome beard. Way to go buddy. You’re an inspiration.

I’m getting there… I think.

Sometimes in life you get to experience rare things. Natural disasters qualify. Lightning, earthquakes, tsunamis. Or maybe it’s sporting events where legendary moments happen. Game 7 of the 2010 Eastern Conference Finals ranks pretty high up there for me.

However, there’s a category that exists which doesn’t get talked about much. It’s when you see a blatant stereo-type happening in front of you. Things you hear about or see in movies or television. We kind of wish they would happen to us.

I always project myself into those things much like everybody else does. Like, somehow, I’d have the wit necessary to enlighten the entire situation to a new plateau. Though I think more commonly, none of us ever have the tact to really follow through.

When I was 23, I took a trip up to Canada to go camping. On the last leg of the trip, we stopped in Toronto. We stayed at a hostel in the Regent Park area right near Allan Gardens. Regent Park is not the nicest area in Toronto. One night, after some steady drinking, my friend Misi and I ventured into the park near our hostel. Sat down on a bench and noticed two Bums beginning to scream at each other. A fight ensued. Their weapons?

Bum 1: Better than average suitcase
Bum 2: Garbage Pale lid

It was epic and I’ll never forget it.

I haven’t had a good one like that in a long time. But then, the other week I caught a guy at a tavern north of where I live. Robert Smith hair, cutoff sleeves, DIRTY mustache, bad attitude. The kind of guy you don’t make eye contact with. I’ve been dying to get a photo of this guy. The other day it happened.

Great White Buffalo.

I’ve seen him around town 3 times now. You can’t make this guy up. He was in Wawa one day buying coffee and a sandwich. There was a 19 year old girl working the checkout. Upon buying his items, shoulders out, dumb smile, he goes, “hey.. maybe you wanna catch some dinner sometime. You got a boyfriend?”

I talked to the girl after he left. She goes, “Oh my god, he comes in here all the time and asks us that. It’s like, dude, I’m 19, leave me alone.”

During this photo, he bought 2 burritos. He then began to explain to me why they’re their own food group. Jesus dude. Make my day some more. Please.
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In other news, I’m beginning to enter some itchy phases of this beard. They come and go. Hopefully it doesn’t get too too bad. Last time it got long, I wanted to shoot myself.